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BDSM STORY CONTEST ...WINNER

There is a winner of the December 2017 BDSm story contest, with a total of 5 votes.....“The Contract” by marco may
The next story contest will be in February 2018.. 

I awoke in darkness, a hood tied over my head and face. I sat in a chair, my hands tied behind me. The room was cold and damp and I was dressed only in my underwear. Suddenly I heard the loud, unmistakable sound of clicking heels…louder and louder…and then they stopped. I heard breathing and a soft moan: “Mmmmmm, look at my helpless slave, ready for his fate.” A hand ripped off my hood. My eyes adjusted to the light and I gasped at the stunning, powerful figure before me. I had never seen anyone like her…there she stood, towering over me in a long leather coat. She smiled down at me, and then let the coat drop to the floor. I nearly fainted at the sight – A beautiful, powerful woman who made my heart race – she wore the tightest-cinched corset I had ever seen – it gave her a wasp-like waist and pushed her breasts up … th…
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BDSM Is Not an Answer, So Embrace the Uncertainty

"In art, one must throw one’s life away in order to gain it."
Gustav Janosch – Conversations with Kafka (https://www.amazon.com/Conversations-Kafka-Second-Directions-Paperbook/dp/081121950X/)
I think there are many different motivations for seeking out BDSM play or a BDSM relationship dynamic:
• a drive to satisfy kinks or fetishes • novelty • escape from societal constraints • sense of purpose • a sense of completion from someone with complementary traits and I’m sure there are many other reasons.
I’m personally not self-aware enough to know what drives me to seek out M/s, SM and the variety of kinks I explore. It would be nice to understand it, but it is probably a complex mix of all of the above.
What I am aware enough to do is accept the attraction and harness it for personal growth.
EMBRACING FEAR AND UNCERTAINTY
American Tibetan Buddhist nun and teacher Pema Chödrön writes in When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times: (https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fa…

Is it Topping from the Bottom?

No-one is going to deny that Tops need feedback in a scene. This commonly includes the bottom communicating needs, discomfort and safety concerns. or communicating and processing their feelings in aftercare.
At the same time, a basic working definition of topping from the bottom might be: “an attempt by the bottom to steer play or the power exchange in a direction they want”.
The distinction might be clear to you, and I do think that each of us can make that distinction in our own encounters, but laying down firm boundaries between the two is difficult, and communicating to our partner where that boundary is is even more difficult.
In a scene, if a bottom were to say “I think that would feel more intense in bent over position than upright” is that feedback? In many people’s dynamic it is. Or is it an attempt to top? In many people’s dynamic it is.
IS THERE A CONSENSUAL AGREEMENT?
Drawing a boundary between feedback and topping from the bottom rests on an assumption that there is a mutual u…

Is it Topping from the Bottom?

Is it Topping from the Bottom? No-one is going to deny that Tops need feedback in a scene. This commonly includes the bottom communicating needs, discomfort and safety concerns. or communicating and processing their feelings in aftercare. At the same time, a basic working definition of topping from the bottom might be: "an attempt by the bottom to steer play or the power exchange in a direction they want".
Is it Topping from the Bottom?

BDSM: Mental Health and the Issue of Consent

Consent is the important red line that exists between BDSM and abuse, and it is important that we see that such a line matters. It’s the basis for negotiating the distance and intimacies we allow when we let others approach our body, and our mind.
YOU OWN YOUR LINES OF CONSENT
There is a misconception that there is only one red line of consent, a kind of universal experience, but in the real world each individual will have their own red lines and ways of negotiating these. Some people see being hugged as a breach of consent, others hug strangers without giving it a second thought.
When you interact with others, you need to see your own red lines as well as your partner’s. You need to monitor both those lines and keep adjusting your actions accordingly, and that monitoring is continuous. What might be off limits at one time is not necessarily off limits at another time, what is no-go with one person might be OK with another, and any mind-altering substance (such as alcohol or drugs) ca…

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